Tuesday, January 30. 2007Doctor's appointment
Due to some bad luck I had the chance to check out the French health system. This is actually quite well described in the book 'A year in the merde' which I can recommend to anyone who wants a funny story about French culture (it's about this English business guy who works in France for year - at the end he wants to stay).
If you went to the doctor's in France, it could end up like this: Act 1: The waiting room Our hero enters an inconspiciously looking building that could be anything from HLM to tobacco storage. He rings the bell and enters. In the waiting hall, there's a truckload of patients who are doing their best trying to look ill. "Bonjour." "Bonjour. Cough, cough." Everyone's trying to avoid eye-contact, but without trying to be noticed, everyone notices exactly who's coming and going. As there's neither as assistant who calls people in nor any fixed dates, you have to remember who was before you in the queue. But of course you can't just ask who's currently last in the queue because that would spoil this plot. 1h later. There's only 3 people left who came before you and the rest came after you. The doctor calls out the next one. Panic and confusion spread beneath the 3 others. Patient 1: "Was it me or you?" Patient 2: "I forgot..." Patient 3: "I came after you two." Patient 2: "I really can't remember. Please, go first." Patient 1: "Thank you." Patient 4 (who came later): "After you it's me then, right?" Luckily, our hero could save the situation by a super-fast usage of politeness and self-preservation: "I'm sorry, I think it's me after him. I arrived before you did." Patient 4: "Oh." "Yeah, it's confusing, isn't it?" Patient 4: "Yes, it is. Why don't we get a number?" Unknowingly, patient 4 has just ask the most fundamental question of them all, nearly making the French health system collapse. Act 2: At the doctor's. The last patient is already at the doctor's. Our hero has strategically put aside his literature he cleverly brought along to spend the afternoon with. As soon as he hears the doctor saying good-bye to the last patient, he jumps up like a leopard to make a point of it being his turn now. The doctor comes out of his room, a gleaming white light shining from it accompanied by a faint choir of angels in the background. Has all this waiting been in vain? Doc: "Good afternoon. What can I do for you?" "[explanation of injury]". Doc: "OK. First of all, can I see your insurance card?" "Sure, here it is. I've only got this German one, though." The doctor, seeing his patient is a foreigner, tries talking English for a few sentences before finding out that his patient is actually a lot better at French than he is at English. Doc: "OK, now I need your date of birth and your phone number although we'll probably never call you." "It should be in the database already, I've been to your college who's room is exactly next to this one." Doc: "Oh, the databases are different. So far, we haven't managed to coordinate them yet." "All right. It's 06..." Surprisingly, the actual diagnostic seems to the same as our hero's used to. Doc: "Hm, doesn't seem to be any broken bones. Still, I'll prescribe you half a ton of medicine and I'd like to get an X-ray to go sure. That'll be 21€, please. Cheques are graciously accepted." The hero is already looking forward to the Adventure, part II: Getting the German insurance to re-pay me, er, him. Act 3: Pharmacie "Hello. I'd like all this, please." Pharmacist: "Sure. Your green health insurance card, please." "Oh, I don't have one. I've only got this from my German health insurance." Panic and confusion. The pharmacist turns to her colleague for help. After some research, they find out I can just pay the 40€ directly and handle the insurance myself. Pharmacist: "Here you go. Do you need a small truck to carry all of this?" Act 4: X-Ray Our hero enters the X-Ray place. To his surprise, the radiologist has an assistant at the entrance. "Hello. I need an X-ray." Assistant: "OK. Do you have an appointment?" "No. Do I need one?" Assistant: "Yes, I'm afraid so." "Oh. OK, could I make one and come back?" Assistant: "Oh no, just wait in the waiting room." "All right." Our hero starts unpacking his book to pass the next eternity in the waiting room. 30 seconds later, he gets called in. Afterwards, he wants to check out. Assistant: "Can I have your insurance card, please?" "I've only got this German one." Panic and confusion. Assistant: "I'll have to call the doctor." Doctor: "Don't you have any insurance?" "Apart from this excellent German one I just showed you, no." Doctor: "Phew, we'll have to fix this when you come back for your pictures." Next morning, our hero return for the pictures. The doctors have finally decided that he could just pay directly and handle the insurance himself. While filling out the cheque, our hero misunderstands the amount and accidentally puts in 1€ less than the actual price. Doctor: "Oh, you forgot one Euro. Well, never mind." The hero is baffled. Doctor: "Here's your piece of paper for the insurance." "Thanks. Say, why did you sign the paper for me?" Doctor: "Oh, my assistant thought she'd sign it for you. Do you think your insurance might mind if there's a different signature on this one?" "Er, yes, I think they would." Doctor: "OK, we'll make you a new one." After staying at the doctor's for about the same time as for doing the actual X-ray, our hero returns home with all the necessary papers, knowing that now he has fought and survived the seven-headed monster of bureaucracy in two different countries now. -- THE END -- Tuesday, January 30. 2007Lu, Parlé, Ecrit?
It is interesting to watch the development of my language skills (the French language skills, that is). Remember for me it's the first time I'm really learning a foreign language, English doesn't count and Latin doesn't really count, either.
Before I went everyone told me I'd pick it up in no time and I'd be fluent after a couple of weeks. I don't find it that easy. For a start, I communicate too much with other foreigners (i.e. non-French) people. This is less avoidable than it seems: for a start, I live with more foreigners than natives and then I do lots of stuff over the internet. If I work on a computer project for a day on my own computer I usually don't see much French stuff. Even some projects for university require reading English papers. I probably do much more stuff in English when I'm in Germany but never noticed. Then I don't do much active learning. My École does offer French for foreigners, but that's designed for 1st year students and clashes with my 3rd year timetable. 80% of my learning is just chatting with people and listening in classes, the rest is made up of reading (fiction, newspapers, some web sites) and only a very little bit of actual work on my grammar and vocab. I think this is not the best way to learn a language: It's difficult to remember which prepositions to use and which gender nouns have this way. Nevertheless, I'm a lot better than I was. I can follow most of my lessons, even when the prof doesn't talk too clearly (most of it interpolated, but still). I read French books (nothing hard, so far only French translations of English books) and newspapers and get quite far using a dictionary. I have conversations and use the subjonctive just because everything else sounds wrong. I get asked for directions and can help. But I still make loads of mistakes. This is what I find difficult. - Pronunciation Is not really that hard. Write me down a French word and don't rush me, I'll read it without a mistake 95% of the time. But French pronunciation is adaptive. It changes. That makes it difficult to apply it correctly the same time as constructing sentences. And it is very sensitive to mistakes. Little pronunciation mistakes can make words and sentences completely incomprehensible. - Conjugation and tenses German conjugation is weird and very irregular so I should be used to this. There's a difference, though: in the spoken language, German speakers usually only need the present form (Indikativ), the past perfect (Perfekt) which uses a participle and present forms of be (sein) and have (haben). Future forms are even easier: connect future forms of 'be' and 'have' with the infinitive or use the present in a future context. The famous Konjunktiv isn't really used that often so you can get quite far with forms like 'Ich würde gerne klettern' (I'd like to climb). French conjugations like their own forms. For spoken language, you need to conjugate the participle (for passé composé, past tense), the imparfait (simple past), futur, conditionnel, of course présent and the subjonctif which all have their own conjugations. Then, you should know the futur composé which is a composite conjugation but uses go (aller) for a modal instead of have and be. For a higher language level you also could learn the subjonctif imparfait and for reading the passé simple is often used in books, but for an intermediate level understanding them is enough. Point I'm trying to make: we Germans are getting a bit lazy and use modals too often, so this multitude of conjugations is confusing. - Vocab I'm pretty lazy learning vocab. It's just so boring... But as I never learnt lots of French at school, most of my vocab I just 'picked up'. Which means I don't know much, use it in wrong places and of course mix up the genders. What I try and do is remember whole phrases: "La coté obscure de la force..." not only gives me the genders of two nouns, but also helps because words on -é usually have the same gender - now I know it's feminine. - Writing My writing in general is pretty bad. I'm starting to get the hang of accents, but my biggest source of mistakes is the accordance of adjectives and participles. Take this sentence: 'FSO is very well developed.'. In French, that's 'FSO est trés evoluée.'. I usually forget the last e, because it's so far from the word FSO. And even so, FSO is an English abbreviation - so why is it feminine? Answer: because it's a technology, and it's 'la technologie'. I just hope I didn't do any mistakes in this paragraph. - Style Have you ever seen or hear someone create a phrase and you thought "Grammatically it's correct and I can't explain why, but it doesn't sound very good?" People tell me that loads here. Interesting: seems like a 'feel' for a language evolves in several stages. I wonder if I ever get to the one where I can choose the 'better' phrase from two grammatically equivalent ones. Although my French gets better all the time, I know it won't be anywhere near perfection until March. 6 months is just not enough to learn a language at my age
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